The other night my wife and I went out to enjoy some bottomless pasta bowl at the Olive Garden (my favorite, you ask?: Creamy Parmesan Florentine on Penne). Across from us sat a WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant...ok, i'm just assuming Protestant) family of four. Here's how the dinner played out.
Kendra first noticed that "dad" was very cranky about the little birthday ditty that the Olive Garden staff did a couple times. Ok...it was a little annoying. But later, the manager came around and asked how everything was, and this family seriously ate her alive. They complained about absolutely everything, in a very rude and insulting way. Now I was a waiter for a couple years, and this kind of rant was usually an attempt to get out of the bill. However, I didn't think that was what this family was after...
Being a little annoyed about having to listen to these buzzing WASPs, I began wondering aloud (quite loudly) about whether this rant was in fact misplaced anger due to a failing marriage and a dysfunctional family. I don't think they heard me, but on cue a couple minutes later the mother was crying. There's no way the food was that bad :)
Now maybe I'm just picking on WASPs because of my tendancy to generalize and stereotype...I don't know. But what I do know is that I really enjoy being malicious to people that are not self-aware. If you don't have the capacity to recognize and the courage to deal with your emotional problems, then you are a hazard to society and should try to stay out of public (yes, I'm also talking to you Kenye).
Another example of un-self-awareness: This morning I'm driving to work and I see a car broken down in the middle of the road. It's a young girl who is trying to "Flinstone" her car out of the way (no one has helped her yet). So I do a U-turn and pull up behind her, put my hazards on, and ask her if she wants a push. Not two seconds later a woman in her early thirties pulls up behind my car and lays on her horn.
After nearly four seconds of horn blasting, I turned around and without hesitation gave her a middle finger rebuke. And here's the funny thing: she immediately let off the horn and looked almost scared, shocked, and a little shameful. Did she realize that her all-powerful horn couldn't prevent me from kicking her obnoxious little ass? Or did she realize that her horn-blowing wasn't going to help her get along her way any faster? Or did she realize that she was honking at the good samaratin that she read about in church just two days ago? I can only guess what was going through her head, but all three originate from a lack of self-awareness.
After we were out of the way, the girl asked me if I worked at Trinity (I was wearing Trinity gear and a Trinity nametag). I said yes, and then immediately thought about the bird I threw without hesitation in a moment lacking of (spiritual) self-awareness (I just touche`d myself). She said she had a friend that went there, and thanked me for helping.
I got in my car and thought about the message I just gave to that little girl. Was it one of hypocrisy? Probably a little bit, and I feel bad for that. But in the long term, I do think that my actions (helping her out) will speak louder than my words (the finger--yes, I know the finger is an action, but it's really conveying words...). Maybe I'm just rationalizing my temper, but I've read about some pretty harsh tongue lashings that Jesus gave to the honkers of His day. I know the anger I felt toward the lady was justified--now I just need to work on expressing it in a more Holy way.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Lord of the Flies comes to Chicago
In the past few days, the brutal beating and death of another CPS student has been all over the airwaves. Missed it? here: http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/09/derrion-albert-vigil-and-march-postponed.html
This is only one of many killings that's happened this year, but this one is particularly hard to swallow, since in this case it took much more than one rash decision (a pulled trigger) to kill...this child was killed by his peers with hands, feet, and sticks.
I'm not even sure how to feel about this--it's a mix of many emotions. There's anger, deep sadness, and fear. I'll call these "reactionary feelings". But then there's others, less reactionary and more reflective, like helplessness, frustration, and sadly even a tinge of racism on my part, which leads to guilt but also rationalization.
How am I to process such a violent and unrelenting expression of hate? Or is hate the right word? Authorities are saying that the victim was caught between two gangs, and so both sides must have hated someone else more than him. And yet they kept hitting him as he lay there helpless. Hate must be part of it, but perhaps this was just as much an expression of hurting.
Perhaps Derrion Albert was the scapegoat for the killers' hurting souls. What kind of pain could have fueled a rage so undiscerning and merciless I'll probably never know, but I DO know that I've felt that rage on a lesser level, and it comes from a feeling deep down that something is terribly wrong--that I've been cheated (whether by another person or my own ill-advised judgment).
I believe that everyone is born feeling cheated--with a tendancy towards this "rage". You can blame the rage on society's (lack of) morality, or on entropy, or a lack of parenting and structure, and it may well be all of these things...but I think it all starts with when (we cheated ourselves/the serpent lied) in the Garden of Eden. Whether we're (blaming ourselves/blaming others) we feel we have been cheated--and we should; we traded paradise for this world.
My intention was to compare gang-dominated areas to the island in Lord of the Flies (if you think about it, the similarities are quite scary), but I'm afraid this topic has brought about one more reflective emotion: I'm emotionally fatigued--much like I imagine Peter was the night before the first Easter.
I think I'll go to bed trying to remember that Joy comes in the morning.
This is only one of many killings that's happened this year, but this one is particularly hard to swallow, since in this case it took much more than one rash decision (a pulled trigger) to kill...this child was killed by his peers with hands, feet, and sticks.
I'm not even sure how to feel about this--it's a mix of many emotions. There's anger, deep sadness, and fear. I'll call these "reactionary feelings". But then there's others, less reactionary and more reflective, like helplessness, frustration, and sadly even a tinge of racism on my part, which leads to guilt but also rationalization.
How am I to process such a violent and unrelenting expression of hate? Or is hate the right word? Authorities are saying that the victim was caught between two gangs, and so both sides must have hated someone else more than him. And yet they kept hitting him as he lay there helpless. Hate must be part of it, but perhaps this was just as much an expression of hurting.
Perhaps Derrion Albert was the scapegoat for the killers' hurting souls. What kind of pain could have fueled a rage so undiscerning and merciless I'll probably never know, but I DO know that I've felt that rage on a lesser level, and it comes from a feeling deep down that something is terribly wrong--that I've been cheated (whether by another person or my own ill-advised judgment).
I believe that everyone is born feeling cheated--with a tendancy towards this "rage". You can blame the rage on society's (lack of) morality, or on entropy, or a lack of parenting and structure, and it may well be all of these things...but I think it all starts with when (we cheated ourselves/the serpent lied) in the Garden of Eden. Whether we're (blaming ourselves/blaming others) we feel we have been cheated--and we should; we traded paradise for this world.
My intention was to compare gang-dominated areas to the island in Lord of the Flies (if you think about it, the similarities are quite scary), but I'm afraid this topic has brought about one more reflective emotion: I'm emotionally fatigued--much like I imagine Peter was the night before the first Easter.
I think I'll go to bed trying to remember that Joy comes in the morning.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Dear Republican Party
I am writing to plead that you discontinue your lies and your uncooperative spirit on health care reform. While you may think that this is good short-term strategy politically (I would disagree), it is not worth the cost of your party's future, much less the health and financial well-being of our country and the people of which this nation is comprised.
Please remember that it is these people that have elected you into office, and have charged you with the task of creating solutions to the problems our country faces. I beg that you remember that politics was meant to be a means to an end, and not the end itself. Opposing health care reform solely in order to cripple the President's power is not true to the calling of your profession.
We the people are not stupid. Our current system is seriously threatened by rising costs, and all experts agree that this system will be getting much worse in the future. First and foremost, I'm asking you to acknowledge the obvious--reform is necessary, and even vital to the future well-being of our nation. And then, do what you were elected to do, and respond.
I'm not asking you to swallow the President's health care bill. In fact, I'm asking the opposite. Bring some of your ideas to the table. Bring your concerns to the table. But don't bring your bullshit to the table, your lies about death panels and Obama's plot to kill old people, about the bill's intention to insure illegal aliens. I'm not buying it. And Joe Wilson, piss off.
I believe that there are some of you that truly do care about this issue. Please, now is the time to step out of the shadows cast by ignorant entertainers like Rush Limbaugh. You will be greeted with admiration for the courage it takes to dissent with ones peers when you know they are in the wrong.
To me, true health care reform will accomplish the following: No one that wants affordable health care coverage can be denied it because they are sick or have "pre-existing" conditions. My brother has three "pre-existing conditions" with his heart, which stopped in July 2007 for nearly two minutes. Once he's married or out of college, he is no longer covered under my dad's plan...and now his condition is "pre-existing", and guess who can't get coverage? Are you listening to me, Republicans? If, or should I say when, his heart stops again, will he be bankrupted with medical bills? Will he be able to get operations he needs? Get this done, or lose me forever.
Secondly, reform should address rising costs. An aspirin in the ER doesn't cost $8, and I have a hard time believing that a life-flight helicopter ride costs $15000 when I can pay $100 for a helicopter tour around Vegas. These ridiculous charges are fraudulent, and must be stopped.
Finally, public option or not, reform must promote competition between insurance companies. There are probably many other things reform must address, but these are the issues paramount to me.
I hope that my faith in your sense of calling and general decency is not ill-placed. Please heed my request, and come to the table.
Regards,
Ryan
Please remember that it is these people that have elected you into office, and have charged you with the task of creating solutions to the problems our country faces. I beg that you remember that politics was meant to be a means to an end, and not the end itself. Opposing health care reform solely in order to cripple the President's power is not true to the calling of your profession.
We the people are not stupid. Our current system is seriously threatened by rising costs, and all experts agree that this system will be getting much worse in the future. First and foremost, I'm asking you to acknowledge the obvious--reform is necessary, and even vital to the future well-being of our nation. And then, do what you were elected to do, and respond.
I'm not asking you to swallow the President's health care bill. In fact, I'm asking the opposite. Bring some of your ideas to the table. Bring your concerns to the table. But don't bring your bullshit to the table, your lies about death panels and Obama's plot to kill old people, about the bill's intention to insure illegal aliens. I'm not buying it. And Joe Wilson, piss off.
I believe that there are some of you that truly do care about this issue. Please, now is the time to step out of the shadows cast by ignorant entertainers like Rush Limbaugh. You will be greeted with admiration for the courage it takes to dissent with ones peers when you know they are in the wrong.
To me, true health care reform will accomplish the following: No one that wants affordable health care coverage can be denied it because they are sick or have "pre-existing" conditions. My brother has three "pre-existing conditions" with his heart, which stopped in July 2007 for nearly two minutes. Once he's married or out of college, he is no longer covered under my dad's plan...and now his condition is "pre-existing", and guess who can't get coverage? Are you listening to me, Republicans? If, or should I say when, his heart stops again, will he be bankrupted with medical bills? Will he be able to get operations he needs? Get this done, or lose me forever.
Secondly, reform should address rising costs. An aspirin in the ER doesn't cost $8, and I have a hard time believing that a life-flight helicopter ride costs $15000 when I can pay $100 for a helicopter tour around Vegas. These ridiculous charges are fraudulent, and must be stopped.
Finally, public option or not, reform must promote competition between insurance companies. There are probably many other things reform must address, but these are the issues paramount to me.
I hope that my faith in your sense of calling and general decency is not ill-placed. Please heed my request, and come to the table.
Regards,
Ryan
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